The Five Don’ts That Destroy Coaching and Mentoring
In a decades-long career, one question has consistently provoked reflection: “Have you been fundamentally influenced by a manager, coach or mentor?”
Only a fraction, about 10%, can affirmatively recall such figures. These influential mentors are not merely advisors; they are pillars who have shaped careers and lives, instilled confidence, fostered a safe environment for risk-taking, and always been trustworthy allies.
Despite the clear benefits of such relationships, a significant gap remains in effective coaching and mentoring. This article delves into the five critical mistakes that can undermine the efforts of those who aspire to mentor and coach effectively.
1- Failure to Understand One’s Own Success
The first stumbling block for managers is more self-awareness regarding their success. To cultivate growth in others, it is crucial to internalise and articulate the mindset underlying one’s achievements. Success is seldom a mere tally of accomplishments; it is more profoundly a reflection of an attitude that embraces positivity and opportunity. Exceptional mentors and coaches grasp this nuance and direct their energies towards instilling such a mindset in their protégés.
2- Doubting Their Ability to Make a Real Difference
A widespread lack of belief hinders managers from becoming transformative coaches or mentors. Only some envision themselves having a lasting impact. Those who hold such beliefs are propelled to act accordingly, dedicating their efforts towards nurturing their charges. They perceive every interaction as an opportunity to make a meaningful difference in someone’s life and career.
3- Confusing Coaching with Mentoring
The conflation of coaching and mentoring leads to a muddied understanding of each role. Coaching is often associated with skill development, akin to the role of a sports coach. In contrast, mentoring involves a more profound engagement, focusing on altering the mentee’s self-perception and helping them navigate self-doubt and limiting beliefs. Discerning the distinction is critical for managers to focus their efforts appropriately.
4- The Absence of a Coaching or Mentoring Model
Managers need a transparent model or framework to emulate. Just as we wouldn’t expect someone to pilot a plane without proper training, we can’t expect managers to excel at coaching or mentoring without a guiding example. Comprehensive training and access to exceptional coaching and mentoring models are indispensable for those aiming to guide others.
5- Believing There Is Not Enough Time
One of the most common excuses. Managers frequently cite time constraints as the primary reason for not engaging in coaching or mentoring. However, those who have excelled in these roles view every challenge as a teachable moment. Instead of jumping in to solve problems, they leverage these situations to encourage critical thinking and learning in their teams.
To address these ‘don’ts’, here are actionable steps that can be integrated into daily management practices:
- Reflect on Your Journey: Take the time to understand what drives your success. Is it your work ethic, communication ability, or strategic thinking? Share these insights with your mentees and encourage them to foster similar traits.
- Embrace Your Role as a Change Agent: Belief in your capacity to influence and inspire. Your conviction will be palpable and motivate and empower those around you.
- Clearly Define Your Role: Distinguish between coaching and mentoring. Are you developing skills, or are you shaping mindsets? Tailor your approach based on the needs of your team and the individuals within it.
- Seek and Provide Models of Excellence: Look for opportunities to observe and learn from exemplary coaches and mentors. Simultaneously, strive to be that model for others.
- Make Time for What Matters: Prioritise coaching and mentoring in your schedule. Recognise that investing time in developing others is an investment in your team’s future success and innovation.
Managers can transition from merely overseeing work to empowering and inspiring others by taking these steps. Coaching and mentoring become roles and part of a manager’s identity.
James Fleming
Managing Director
The Power Within Training,
The Motivational Intelligence Company
You can download the article here – The Five Don’ts That Destroy Coaching and Mentoring.
James Fleming
Managing Director
The Power Within Training,
The Motivational Intelligence Company
You can download the article here – The Five Don’ts That Destroy Coaching and Mentoring
Click on the link below to download the article -